You seriously cannot make this shiznit up. Regardless, if you had to go that would be pretty epic. The story:
A man claims he was nearly killed after his girlfriend choked him with her over sized chest, according to court proceedings.
A high-flying lawyer fled in terror naked after his girlfriend used her 38DDs in an attempt to kill him, a German court has heard.
Tim Schmidt, 30, said his girlfriend, Franziska Hansen, 33, mounted her assault while they were having sex because she was jealous of his successful career.
She denies the charge of attempted murder with a deadly weapon after the incident in the city of Unna in May. According to her, it was a sex game gone wrong and Schmidt panicked.
He told the court he was admiring her large chest closely when she suddenly stuck his head between her chest and squeezed hard. Schmidt was smothered and began to panic as he struggled to breathe, the court heard.