North Korea’s pint-sized dictator is a master of propaganda and social manipulation, but he also apparently suffers from insecurity, delusion, and severe OCD. Here are 10 “facts” about Kim Jong Il, as reported by the media. The word “facts” is in quotes because the first 5 on the list are examples of propaganda that Kim Jong Il uses to brainwash his citizens into maintaining his almost god-like image. The last 5 are actual facts.
The “Fact”: He had a supernatural birth
According to North Korean historical literature, Kim Jong Il was born in a log cabin inside a secret base on Korea’s most sacred mountain, Mt. Paekdu. At the moment of his birth, a bright star lit up the sky, the seasons spontaneously changed from winter to spring, and rainbows appeared. This contradicts way less interesting Western accounts of his birth, which state the dictator was born in a guerilla camp in Russia, while his father was on the run from the Japanese.
9. Fashion Forward
The “Fact”: He is a fashion trendsetter
According to North Korea’s newspaper Rodong Sinmun, Kim Jong Il’s iconic style has become a global phenomenon. The inspired look of his zipped up khaki tunics with matching pants has been spreading across the world, an obvious testament to his outstanding image and influence. The paper didn’t mention the popularity of the 4 inch platform shoes Kim wears, but his oversized shades definitely seem to be a big hit with the women of Hollywood.
8. Loved the World Over
The “Fact”: The world loves him
According to state-run media, Kimg Jong Il is the most prominent statesman in the present world, and people in countries the whole planet over celebrate his birthday with films and festivals. In reality, most nations are confused by his erratic foreign policy decisions on important issues such as N. Korea’s nuclear program.
The “Fact”: He invented the hamburger
Since any American influences have long since been banned in his tiny communist country, Kim Jong Il had no choice but to create some new non-Western food by himself. North Korean newspaper Minju Joson reported that Kim Jong Il invented a new sandwich called “double bread with meat” in an attempt to provide “quality” food to university students. He then built a plant capable of mass hamburger production to feed his students and teachers, despite the fact that the majority of his citizens battle famine on a daily basis.
6. Golfing Glory
The “Fact”: He is the best natural golfer in history
In 1994, it was reported by Pyongyang media outlets that Kim Jong Il shot 38 under par on a regulation 18-hole golf course – including 5 holes in one! That score is 25 shots better than the best round in history, and is made even more amazing by the fact that it was his first time playing the sport. It’s said Kim Jong Il would routinely sink 3 or 4 holes in one per round of golf, and – lucky for the PGA – he has since given it up.
See the rest of them:
[In 2001], while the UN was appealing for $600 million in emergency aid for the country, Kim spent “$20 million importing 200 of the latest and costliest… Mercedes, which he distributed as rewards to his followers after the test-firing of a new, long-range missile over Japan”
Making Fun of Kim Jong:
via: KIM JONG-IL
You’re breaking my balls Hans Blix