10 Craziest Objects Removed from the Rectum (butt)

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Summary:

Why?  For the love of God, why?  I just don’t get it.  If “what, what, up the butt”, is your thing then holy shite balls use a proper toy.  Personally, I don’t care if it feels like a 1000 angels rubbing my purple headed yogurt slinger. I would never try any of it.  The good Lord made the poop shoot for output, not input.  So why do people stick crazy things up the A?

Yep, it’s called prostate massaging.  That’s cool, my prostate is fine. Go Ask Alice!: The male hot spot ? Massaging the prostate

Apparently, during a prostate exam, some men become aroused.  What is a Prostate Exam Like? | eHow.com

Below are the craziest things I could find that were removed from the A.

1. Concrete

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Concrete is made for canoes. Wait, what? Clemson University | Civil Engineering Department | ASCE Concrete Canoe Team

pic via: Clemson University | Civil Engineering Department | ASCE Concrete Canoe Team

In 1987, a 20-year-old dude went to the hospital complaining of rectal pain. X-rays showed a hard, stony mass.The guy told them that his boyfriend poured concrete in his ass while  “fooling around” that had subsequently hardened into the equivalent of a massive concrete shit-brick.

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The opposite of diarrhea

2. Artillery Shell

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His farts were literally explosive

An old WW2 veteran in London would come into a hospital suffering from bad hemorrhoids (piles). The hospital tried their best, but piles would hang down and get stuck on the seam of the man’s underpants. To rid himself of the nuisance of this pile, the old dude pushed it back up using an artillery shell from an anti-aircraft gun. The rest is history: He went back to the Doc and said: ‘There’s enough ammo in that shell to blast a Messerschmidt (sp?) out of the sky.’ So the doc had the army bomb squad, who built a lead box around the old man’s asshole and defused the shell, before removing it. via – well.com  via 7 Bizarre Objects That Were Lodged in Assholes « Regretful Morning

3. Toothbrush

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My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush

A 69-year-old man who had it with his itchy & burning hemorrhoids decided to rub them off with a hard bristled toothbrush. Houston, we have problem, we lost contact.  via – BBC

4. Pepper Shaker

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He took down Occupy protestors with his farts

Pepper pot in the rectum. On removal it was found to be inscribed ‘A present from Margate’ (Dr. L.S. Carstairs, Royal Northern Hospital, London.)  via piles and others

5. 100-Watt Electric Bulb

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Dude is lucky it wasn't one of them CFC bulbs. Mercury up the poop shoot is a death sentence

from Annals of Emergency Medicine
November 1982

To the Editor:

In all societies, individuals have introduced foreign bodies into the rectum, penis, and vagina, sometimes for sexual gratification and sometimes for unusual psychological reasons. The literature contains many reports of such instances, particularly with respect to foreign bodies in the rectum. Objects reported include stones, coke bottles, plastic vibrators, pencils, sticks, a baseball, knives, screwdrivers, the U-bend of a sink, a sponge rubber ball, glass tumblers, a pickle bottle, and a beer glass.Ideally, the bulb should be removed intact from the rectum through the anus. If this is not possible, the abdomen must be opened and the bulb gently squeezed through the rectum and the anus, with great care taken to avoid injuring the rectum. Should this method be unsuccessful, the sigmoid colon must be opened and the bulb removed through the abdominal incision; however, opening the sigmoid colon is a very lenghy procedure with severe morbidity and a prolonged recovery period,, and this maneuver should be reserved as an extraordinary measure.

Vaman S. Diwan, MD, MS
Huntington, West Virginia

This case report adds to the list a 100-watt electric bulb, an object not previously reported, and describes the technique used for the successful removal of this fragile object.A 54-year-old man presented with the complaint that two days earlier he had drunk whiskey and “did something” to his rectum. He was obviously embarrassed and reluctant to explain his problem. Rectal examination revealed a hard, smooth, globular mass. The results of the rest of the physical examination were within normal limits.When asked specifically, the patient admitted that an electric bulb had been in his rectum for two days. He said he had gotten drunk, accepted a wager of $100 and, using shaving cream as a lubricant, had inserted a 100-watt electric bulb into his rectum. The next day, sober, he realized that he had done a “stupid” thing but believed that the bulb would come out unassisted. After two days he became aware of difficulty defacating, and when he began to experience difficulty urinating, he became frightened and sought medical help.AP and lateral films of the pelvis verified the location of the electric bulb in the rectum, and the patient was taken to the operating room. He was placed in a face-down position with his hips elevated. The buttocks were separated and held apart by a circular metal ring. With the aid of malleable retractors in the rectum, the electric bulb was visualized, but it was not possible to get a gloved finger over the maximum diameter of the bulb.Toy darts with suction cup ends were used to draw the electric bulb to the sphincter. After drying the glass surface of the bulb with ethyl ether swabs, we attempted to attach the suction cup end of the dart to the eletric bulb with cyanoacrylate cement. Four attempts of this maneuver were unsuccessful: the cement would not stick.The patient was then turned to the lithotomy position and another dart was successfully attached to the bulb without any glue, and the bulb was pulled to the sphincter.Three #24 Foley catheters with 30-cc terminal balloons were lubricated with mineral oil and passed over the maximum diameter of the bulb. The catheters were placed at the six, ten and two o’clock positions. Throughout this procedure, a steady pull was maintained on the attached dart.After it was verified by digital examination that the tips and balloons of the catheters were beyond the maximum diameter of the bulb, the balloons were inflated with 30 cc of water, and about 30 cc of mineral oil was injected into the rectum through a Foley catheter. A steady pull of about five pounds was applied to each catheter, and after about ten minutes the sphincter began to dilate and the bulb began to emerge.The electric bulb finally came out through the external sphincter with no further complications. Sigmoidoscopic examination showed no bleeding or other injury to the rectal mucosa. After 24 hours of observation, the patient returned home.The literature describes various methods that have been employed to retrieve foreign bodies from the rectum. Because this electric bulb was a large object (maximum diameter, 61 mm; length from metal end to top, 114 mm) made of fragile glass, special consideration had to be taken to avoid breakage that would have resulted in lacerations to the rectum and adjacent structures, with consequent complications. via Rectal Foreign Bodies

6. Impulse Body Spray

body spray up the butt wtf cool stuff the best random uncategorized organic my fave funny video funny video how to health fitness fails funny pics the daily darwin crazy funny video amazing cool stuff  10 Craziest Objects Removed from the Rectum (butt)Case 1. A 39-year-old married white male lawyer presented with a self- inserted perfume bottle in his rectum that he was unable to remove using various objects, including a back scratcher. He had inserted this bottle on previous occasions. Edema of the rectum and sigmoid colon precluded the successful manual removal of the object in the emergency room. A pelvic x-ray film (Fig.1) showed the object to be lodged 12 cm proximal to the dentate line. The 3 by 17 cm object, “Impulse Body Spray,” was removed manually after a spinal anesthetic. The patient was discharged on the second postoperative day. He refused psychologic counseling. via Rectal Foreign Bodies

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Yes ladies, I now fart sexy manileness

 7. 8-inch Electrical Banana

dildo xray up the butt wtf cool stuff the best random uncategorized organic my fave funny video funny video how to health fitness fails funny pics the daily darwin crazy funny video amazing cool stuff  10 Craziest Objects Removed from the Rectum (butt)Case 2. A 39-year-old white male was admitted to the University Hospital psychiatric service for evaluation of a 2-week history of bloody diarrhea and auditory hallucinations. Rectal examination revealed a foreign body approximately 3 cm above the anal verge. An x- ray film (Fig. 2) showed that it was 20 cm in length. The object could not be removed by manual or endoscopic means. The patient consented to extraction of the dildo under general anesthetic. Biopsy specimens of the hemorrhagic rectal mucosa were performed and were negative on Ziehl-Neelson stains for mycobacterial or cryptosporidium infection. The patient was discharged without complications the following day. via Rectal Foreign Bodies

8. Peanut Butter Jar

The most notable part of this case study isn’t that a 65-year-old man arrived to the E.R. with a peanut butter jar trapped in his rectum (although just try not to clench your butt cheeks while picturing that). It’s his explanation of how it got there: The elderly man claimed that while washing his dog in the shower, he slipped and fell on the jar so hard that it passed right through his anal sphincter. Physics and biological impossibilities aside, there are a lot of holes (heh) in his story: Like why was he naked while bathing his dog? And why is there a jar of peanut butter in the bathroom? Perhaps he has grandchildren, and they’re better off not knowing that Gramps gets an erection when he inserts a container of Skippy up his butt. Anyway, who’s hungry for a PB&J?

9. Glass Bottle

glass bottle xray butt removal wtf cool stuff the best random uncategorized organic my fave funny video funny video how to health fitness fails funny pics the daily darwin crazy funny video amazing cool stuff  10 Craziest Objects Removed from the Rectum (butt)A 60-year-old man was admitted to the hospital with a case of perforation peritonitus (aka a torn-up tush), which doctors believed was a rare spontaneous occurrence. Fast-forward a year later, when the same man comes in with stomach pains and difficulty walking. Upon X-ray-ing him, they found a huge glass bottle in his rectum and realized that the guy doesn’t have a magically exploding butt; rather, he just likes stuffing objects in it. The docs surgically removed the bottle, and the patient made a full recovery. via Up Yours — X-Rays of the Weirdest Items Found in Butts – Asylum.com

10. Frozen Pig’s Tail

Seriously, who saves a pig’s tail and then sticks it up the A?

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The pig: No part goes wasted.

From the below table, Surgery Magazine.

Holy crap a table:

“Rectal Foreign Bodies” — from Surgery Magazine (1986)

Collated by Drs. David B. Busch and James R. Starling, Madison, Wis.

The surgical management of two patients presenting with incarcerated, apparently self-inserted foreign bodies is reported. The large volume of prior literature on this subject is reviewed, with tabulation of 182 previous cases by type and number of objects recovered and with a discussion of patients’ age distribution, history, complications and prognosis.Table I Previously reported recovered foreign bodies:

[ed. note: list has been appended to reflect recently found documentation.]

Object                             Number Recovered

Glass or ceramic
   Bottle or jar                       32
   Bottle with attached rope            1
   Glass or cup                        12
   Light bulb                           7
   Tube                                 6
Food
   Apple                                1
   Banana                               2
   Carrot                               4
   Cucumber                             3
   Onion                                2
   Parsnip                              1
   Plantain (with condom)               1
   Potato                               1
   Salami                               1
   Turnip                               1
   Zucchini                             2
Wooden
   Ax handle                            1
   Stick or broom handle               10
   Miscellaneous or unspecified         3
Sexual Device
   Vibrator                            23*
   Dildo                               15
Kitchen device
   Dull knife                           1
   Ice pick                             1
   Knife sharpener                      1
   Mortar pestle                        2
   Spatula (plastic)                    1
   Spoon                                1
   Tin cup                              1
Miscellaneous tools
   Candle                               1
   Curling Iron				1
   Flashlight                           3
   Iron rod                             1
   Pen                                  2
   Rubber tube                          1
   Screwdriver                          1
   Toothbrush                           1
   Wire spring                          1
Inflated device
   Balloon                              1
   Balloon attached to cylinder         1
   Condom                               1
Ball
   Baseball                             2
   Tennis ball                          1
   Pool cue ball                        1
Miscellaneous containers
   Baby powder can                      1
   Candle box                           1
   Shampoo Bottle			1
   Snuff box                            1
Miscellaneous
   Bottle cap **                        1
   Cattle horn                          3
   Chain (gold)				1
   Frozen pig's tail                    1
   "Kangaroo tumor" #                   1
   Hair Mousse Cap			1
   Plastic rod                          1
   Stone                                2
   Toothbrush holder                    1
   Toothbrush package                   1
   Whip handle                          2*
Collections (one case of each)
  2 Glass tubes
  72 1/2 Jeweler's saw
  Oil can with potato stopper
  Piece of wood, peanut
  Umbrella handle and enema tubing
  2 Glasses
  Phosphorus match ends (homicide)
  402 Stones
  Toolbox ##
  2 Bars soap
  Beer glass and preserving pot
  Lemon and cold cream jar
  2 Apples
 Spectacles, suitcase key, tobacco pouch, and magazine total of 14 collections,
with approximately 500 objects

* number may be larger (text unclear)
**cannot exclude ingestion
# unique case of pedunculated perianal skin tumor habitually
   inserted into rectum
##inside a convict; contained saws and other items usable
in escape attempts.
via

Summary: It’s all Eddie Murphy’s fault with his 1980 song “Boogie in the butt”

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